


The Unconventional Wife

by Nakahisa



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Mentions of Newt - Freeform, Mentions of gossipmongers, One sentence of Travers, mentions of queenie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 04:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakahisa/pseuds/Nakahisa
Summary: Tina sat in quiet reflection, staring helplessly at her hands.“You want them, but not enough to make sacrifices.”





	The Unconventional Wife

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bakercrown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakercrown/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Unconventional Times](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17232746) by [bakercrown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakercrown/pseuds/bakercrown). 



> Hello! This is a one-shot based on the events that happened in Unconventional Times. Shoutout to bakercrown for writing that lovely story, and for agreeing to this idea of a Tina POV, and for naming this one-shot.  
> To understand this context, it would be great to have read the latest chapter (because this takes place in the middle of chapter 8, after the events in chapter 7). 
> 
> I suppose it *could* be a standalone? But you might be left hanging at the ending part.

Tina sat in quiet reflection, staring helplessly at her hands. Queenie had left her alone after bringing her lunch, and she took the time to think about their conversation. 

_Had taken a very long time to contemplate apparently_ , now that she heard a familiar beat of the knife cutting on the chopping board, of pots clanging on the stove.

_“You want them, but not enough to make sacrifices.”_

The words repeated itself in her mind. First in Queenie’s voice, then in hers. It touched a nerve within her, and Tina felt herself brooding over her marriage and contributions to the family after becoming a part of the Scamanders. 

A married woman’s life truly was not easy. 

A married _working_ female Auror’s life was _hellish_.

_You want them, but not enough._

_Not enough._

The words replayed in her head over and over again. Was it exactly what Queenie had said? Did she not want a child badly enough? Had she convinced herself that she was fit for motherhood, when in reality her heart was still inclined towards active service? That she was too stubborn to give it up for something more…domestic? Tina touched her abdomen subconsciously.

Had she gradually let the words from others affect her actions?

After working in London for some time, what with the threat of losing loved ones to Grindelwald's attacks, Tina had noticed a few other employees getting married.

She also noticed a change in them. There was a certain pattern to it too, a downwards slide from happiness.

It was in their eyes. Gossips travelled far and wide, and she soon learnt that there were certain expectations to meet. Expectations pertaining to family, or the creation of a proper family system. 

Expectations from the proud and old wizarding society.

 _To think Newt said_ **_our_ ** _laws are backwards…_ Tina mused.

She knew what was expected of her after choosing to settle down with Newt. However what she was not prepared for was the amount of people giving her advice and sharing unwelcome feedback about her lifestyle. Tina dreaded social gatherings. It started when Newt started courting her officially. The Scamanders were well-acquainted with other wizarding families, and the questions about her work, impending marriage and parenting style despite dating only for a few months, never stopped.

Not even after she took his family name.

**\----------Memories----------**

_“You shouldn’t be working anymore, Tina dear.”_

_“Oh darling, you can still work in the Ministry. Administration, perhaps? Leave the dangerous work to the men.”_

_“When will there be little Scamanders? The more the merrier.”_

_“With her work and typical Yank attitude, I’d be surprised if there were any little Scamanders.”_

_“A big wedding will be good.”_

_“She’s the problem, isn’t it? At least for once, it’s not that Newton.”_

_“Look at that body of hers, such narrow hips. Why my daughter-in-law had wide hips and conceived just fine.”_

**\----------End Memories----------**

But they had tried, didn’t they? Done what any married couple would do. Newt didn’t pressure her either, said his favourite motto countless of times too.

Tina leaned back against the headboard of her suddenly very big bed. Newt was not with her, he was avoiding her so he would be in the basement. 

_Good_. He didn’t have to see her like this.

Weak and conflicted. Her dear husband had enough on his plate to worry, what with her injuries from her duel with Vinda. She certainly did not need to add more. 

_“Scamander or is it Goldstein again? Trouble in paradise?”_

Vinda’s words rang out loud and clear. Anxiety crept out from the depths, making itself felt.

_No, she was referring to my ring. She couldn’t possibly know anything else._

Was she and Newt so incompatible that people don’t expect anything from them?

Closing her eyes, Tina delved into her memories, desperately bringing up memories to justify that she had tried her best to be a good and proper wife.

A flurry of thoughts overtook her mind.

Did she love her husband? Yes.

Did she help with making the house, a home? Yes.

Did she support her husband through his tough times at work? Yes, when she was not away on missions.

Did she take care of him? Of course.

Did she give him what he wanted? Yes, whenever she could.

Tina stilled. 

**_No._ ** _There was something. One thing._

**\----------Memories----------**

Newt loved kids. She saw it in how he took care of the little young creatures in the case and basement. She saw it in how he preferred talking to the children at social gatherings, very often relying on Pickett or young Einstein. Smiling at them, educating them on creatures, laughing along with them. She felt it in his touch, when he would hug her from behind and caress her belly after making love, just before sleeping. 

Tina remembered that. They had discussions about children before, prior to marriage. Newt had been anxious yet excited when he thought about their future children. Tina? Not so much. She was more apprehensive than keen, questioning her ability to be a good parent that worked as an Auror. Wondering if motherhood suited her, having only vague memories of her own mother. She remembered Newt comforting her as best as he could as those talks.

_“All in good time, Tina. Right now, I have you. That’s all I need.”_

_“Worrying makes you suffer twice. Tina, you’ll be the best mother when we have children. I’m sure of this.”_

**\----------End Memories----------**

‘When’? More like ‘If’.

They had _tried_. 

She remembered the times Newt did his best to create a romantic atmosphere, to celebrate their milestones. First night as a married couple, first week, first month. First _year_. Tina had tried her best to reciprocate; leaving work on time, requesting to swap shifts to free up a significant day, giving in to desires and encouraging Newt to do the same.

Tina gripped the bed sheets. They had done the mechanics of reproduction, but clearly the problem was with her. Deep down, she knew instinctively that it was her. Her fault. She probably had a defective body.

Years of constant stress must have taken a toll on her, ever since she started her senior years at Ilvermorny.

**\----------Memories----------**

Puberty had hit her a little later than her peers, and even so, what her peers had every month only visited Tina bi-monthly. Sometimes even skipping two months at a go. There was no time to relax and have fun, not when there was a younger sister to fret over, a future to plan, and a career to plan for. She stressed over her studies and grades, stressed over passing the Auror exams. A compulsory health check noted her irregular periods, but she was declared ‘fit and healthy’ nonetheless. 

Working at MACUSA was a different kind of stress, and it did nothing to help her personally. Not that it bothered her then. In fact, not having periods was better, for it was one less thing to worry about while out on field missions.

Transferring to London and working with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement did not change anything. After marriage, Tina had been fine with letting nature take its course. She was still fit and healthy, Newt was also fit and healthy. It was only a matter of time.

Until one night during a Ministry event where everyone was dressed to the nines. When she was refreshing herself at the vanity room, she overheard a discussion. A few witches were giving their congratulations to their friend. 

_“Someone~ got pregnant after two months of marriage! Congratulations! That’s fast.”_

_“I know. It is, isn’t it? A surprise baby, this one this.”_

_“I’ve heard from the elders, they say it’s easier to have a baby if you’ve never put your body in danger. You know, the whole idea of preserving the body in its original state.”_

_“Not damaging the body right? I understand that logic. You know that Auror? Tina Scama-”_

_“Oh yes,_ ** _her_** _. My mother that Newton the good man should just divorce and take another wife.”_

Tina had hastily removed herself from that place, retreating back to her spot at a corner of the ballroom, a concerned Newt by her side. Tina knew that people talked to her husband too. Telling him to consider other women who could bear him a son for the family. Women who were in far better shape, unharmed from stresses, curses or hexes. 

Original state.

Tina felt the blood drain out of her. She knew she should not listen to hearsay, with no facts written on parchment to back it up.

But it made _sense_.

Irregular periods meant her hormones were whacked. On top of that, how many times had she gotten injured in the line of duty? How many times had she ended up at St Mungo’s, either watching or lying on the bed as Healers worked to heal her from the effects of spells?

Effects of Dark Magic.

How was she to explain to Newt, that her love for her work was the one thing rendering her unable to take the next step in building their own family? Unable to give Newt what he wanted. How was she going to tell Newt that she was beginning to regret being an Auror, because it meant that she had thrown away her one good shot at being a proper and conventional wife? That she had failed in something that was supposed to be simple, and there was no clear cut way to solve it? That her inability to conceive was more of a permanent thing, not temporary?

But Tina always found a way, whether she liked it or not.

The flash of disappointment on Newt’s face was not missed by her eyes, as he listened to her pour out.

All the comforting words in the world whispered in her ears felt like nothing. All his sweet gestures to help her feel better did nothing. All his notes and fervent efforts to research about the credibility of that hearsay touched her, but she did not feel his warmth.

Hurt. The look on his face as he froze up at her for that one moment. One second, or two. That was all it took.

It hurt.

It hurt to have seen him look like that. It hurt even more that he had been in that state because of her. Newt never looked at her like that before.

**\----------End Memories----------**

The bedroom felt stuffy, and Tina reached up to wipe away the wetness on her face. Standing up, she doubled over from the sudden pain in her ribs. Of course, only she would forget about her healing wounds just hours after getting them. Slowly, Tina crept towards the study table, pulled out a leaflet hidden in her notes, and retreated into the bathroom. A sigh of relief left her as she slid the lock shut.

Pulling down the toilet seat cover, she sat on it and stared at the leaflet. It contained information about a procedure that Healers were using on women with _personal problems_.

A higher chance of conceiving required her hormonal levels to be regulated better, so that her monthly cycle would be more predictable. It was all about the precious fertile window. Treatment required months of observation and logging, frequent follow-up sessions, and costed Galleons and Sickles.

Stress levels had to be regulated, which meant her job itself was tethering on the edge. Half the stress she felt definitely came from the job, even though Tina was already used to it.

Travers would gladly boot her out of the department rather than have her sidelined doing paperwork only. He never quite like her anyway. Not after reading her bio file prior to her transfer, and connecting her and Queenie.

Tina crushed the paper and tossed it into the bin, muttering “Incendio” and turning the paper into ashes just as it landed. Standing up, she turned on the faucet and let the cool water run over her hands. Cupping it, she splashed it over her face. Twisting it shut, Tina stared at the mirror. 

Tired eyes looked back at her, red-rimmed from the waterworks that turned itself on. Scarred marks, too faint to be noticed from a distance, suddenly became prominent to her. Indications of her being in battle, and being on the winning side. Tina frowned, squinted, and then relaxed; staring at her reflection the whole time. Stress lines from years of worrying, years of fighting against her naysayers, were here to stay. 

Porpentina Scamander - formerly Porpentina Goldstein - was, is, and will always be a fighter first and foremost.

Maybe Queenie was right. She did not want a child as badly enough as her wanting to keep her job. She was not her younger sister after all. Where Queenie aspired to have a proper family, to start a family with the right man; Tina put her heart and soul into work and ensuring her current family were well-taken cared of. 

She was a protector, a fighter, a person upholding justice. All these thoughts about her and domestic life was making her act out of her own character. Tina was an Auror first. The job was her first love, all that she had dreamt of. Newt was her second love, everything in a man that she had hoped for. With him, Tina became an adventurer, with a spirit that no one could chain down. A force to be reckoned with.

Mulling over motherhood, brooding over her married life, listening to people telling her to fit in, regretting the consequences of her dream job. This **wasn’t** her. Newt had said it before didn’t he? Or did he write it down in one of those love letters he gave her to celebrate their significant events?

_“I married you for yourself, not what others say you should be.”_

Tina gulped, finally realizing she had somehow done the one thing she never wanted to.

Let her insecurities take over her.

Grindelwald was still out there creating havoc. The world was unstable. The Aurors had little to no information, but Grindelwald’s force had planted moles everywhere and was gaining the upper hand. Tina thought about Queenie and her twins. Bringing children into this world now, was to run the risk of having them be on the receiving end of Dark Magic.

For the fact remained that her sister had defected, and acolytes would hunt them all down - children included.

Innocent lives suffering. Like Credence.

Like Audrey and Tony.

No, she couldn’t. Her stomach twisted as she imagined her own little ones suffering because their mother, an Auror, was unable to bring down Grindelwald and his allies.

What if they brought children into the world now, and something happened to both Newt and herself in line of duty? More so herself though. 

Tina had seen orphaned children in the past few years, victims of adults' battles.

The wails, the anguished faces. Soulless eyes.

She glanced at her wedding ring, a simple gold wedding band crowned with a beautiful sea-green peridot.

Newt would never want their future children to experience that. Ever. 

Tina would never want that to happen to either of them. Ever.

Queenie was right. Right now, Tina wanted her job more - selfish as it may sound. Right now, she was able to do something against Grindelwald - taking down acolytes one by one. Being laid up in bed due to fertility treatments would not help safeguard her precious family's lives, not when Tony was still affected by Dark Magic, not when Vinda Rosier is after them.

Perhaps she won't ever have any. Perhaps they will come to her and Newt in future.

But now? She would fight to take down the ones threatening the safety of her world. For Newt, for Queenie, for their combined family. Her precious people. 

And perhaps, for her future children.

One enemy down, one enemy lesser. One safer place for generations to come.

Her resolve found, one worry factor out of her mind, Tina unlocked the bathroom door and stepped out feeling lighter, so much better.

Until her ribs ached, and stomach growled.

There was also a strange stench in the air. Faint, just barely noticeable to her. _Did Queenie finally burn down the kitchen? No wait..this smell. Mercy Lewis! Please tell me she DIDN'T BAKE BROCOLLI CASSEROLE._

With renewed energy, Tina disappeared towards the direction of the kitchen, praying to the gods who would listen, that her younger sister had left the broccoli alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers:
> 
> 1) I do not claim to know much about the effects of reaching puberty later than others.  
> 2) In this instance, Tina is on the receiving end of stress and its lasting effects.  
> 3) Anything about pregnancy is what I perceive it to be in a story, and in the 1920s/30s era. There will be inaccuracies.
> 
> Note:
> 
> UT Tina has had failures in conceiving. Throwback to Chapter 7 when it was briefly mentioned. Anyone would feel disappointed/upset/worn out by constant negative results, I think that is a natural reaction. While she isn't that successful in that department so far, she performs the best at work. It is only natural that a person would gravitate towards something they excel in. Having to be someone that others want because its 'what a wife should be/do', versus just being yourself and letting nature take its course... This two scenarios can have different results of the same action.  
> This is Tina's psyche now. It can be quite unsettling? But it does not speak for the Tina in future chapters.  
> How the story goes, we'll find out in future chapters of UT. :D


End file.
